Future Perfect
by the ultimate SoBe Master
Summary: My version of TimeSplitters Future Perfect
1. Time to Split

Chapter 1

Time to Split

The year is two thousand four hundred and one. A war between Earth and the TimeSplitters – an evil race of creatures that has brought mankind to the brink of extinction – is well under way. Earth's last hope is a spacecraft speeding towards Earth carrying nine stolen Time Crystals. These crystals will be used to send someone back in time. Their mission: eliminate the Time Crystals at their source, ending the war before it ever began…

A fairly small, jet-like spacecraft was speeding towards Earth, which was a mere shadow of what it once was. It was a barren wasteland now.

The pilot was a tall, muscular man with a shaved head. You could see the veins in his neck. He had a pair of black, prosthetic eyes with red pupils that allowed the T.S.M. (Time/Space Marine Corps.) to view what he was seeing at the same time. He was wearing a gray, skin-tight T-shirt, a light gray, armored vest, a pair of dark gray combat pants, a pair of gray, armored combat boots, a gray belt with an elliptical belt buckle, and a pair of brownish gray, fingerless gloves with a yellow stripe across the knuckles.

"Entering atmosphere. Please initiate landing sequence," announced the craft's computer. The pilot pulled a couple of levers, and the ship's wings folded in close to it. The craft began speeding towards Earth like a bullet, flames surrounding it as it sped along. He soon reached the lower atmosphere, allowing him to reopen the wings.

"An unidentified craft confirmed in immediate area. Please identify yourself," a voice said over the ship's radio. It was Private Hicks of the T.S.M.

"This is Cortez," said the pilot.

"Sgt. Cortez?! It's an honor to have you back, Sir! I'll patch you straight to the general!" said Private Hicks excitedly.

A few seconds later, a different voice came over the radio. "Cortez?" it said.

"General Lander, what the fuck's goin' on down there?!" asked Cortez.

"It's the Splitters! We're under siege!!" shouted the general. "It's Hell! Get your bald ass down here and give us some cover!!"

"Roger that, Sir. I'm on my way," Cortez replied.

Just then, a lazer blast collided with his ship. "Holy shit!" Cortez barked. He tried to pull up, but it was no use. He crashed into the side of the canyon with a fairly small explosion. Cortez was hanging upside down like a roosting bat, his foot caught under the seat.

Just then, a couple of men from Cortez's squad came running to the ship. "There's Cortez!" one of them shouted. It was Private Hicks.

"What the hell's he doin' upside down?" the other one asked. It was Sgt. Jameson.

"I don't know," Private Hicks replied. "Come on, Cortez. On your feet!" Cortez slipped free from his seat and fell to the ground, grunting when he landed. "Oh, that had to hurt!" said Private Hicks. "Come on, Cortez! The general's waitin for ya back at the base!" He gestured for Cortez to follow him. Cortez got up and obliged, following after Private Hicks and Sgt. Jameson. "Take this weapon, Cortez. You'll need it!" said Private Hicks as they were running, handing him a laser-type handgun. It was the newest model of the Scifi Handgun: The Scifi Laser Handgun Model 37A4

"Thanks, Hicks," replied Cortez as he took the weapon. He had the suitcase with the Time Crystals strapped to the side of his belt. Just then, a plasma shot whizzed past his ear. "What the hell?! Tell your men not to shoot at me!" Cortez shouted angrily. The vein in his forehead was throbbing.

"But Sir, they would _never_ in their right minds shoot at you! _Ever_!!" Private Hicks nervously replied. He then said under his breath, "I hope," He gulped at the thought of one of the other Space/Time Marines actually firing at Cortez.

"You had better be right, Hicks, 'cause I'll have your head if they fire another _shot _at me!" Cortez shouted. A minute or so later, another shot whizzed past them. "That is _it_, Hicks!" he shouted, throwing a punch at Private Hicks. He landed a direct hit in the gut, sending Private Hicks flying to the ground.

"I'm telling you! W-we didn't d-d-do it!" Private Hicks sputtered, holding his gut as he got to his feet.

"Hey, look over there! Who are those guys?" Sgt. Jameson said, pointing to two men in black, hooded uniforms with no sleeves and black masks covering the face. On each mask was a single gold "eye" with gold stripes closing in on it from all sides of the mask.

"I don't know," Cortez replied, "but let's keep an eye on them," As if on cue, the hooded men turned and began firing at them.

"See?! I told you it wasn't us!" said Private Hicks.

"Sorry, Hicks,"

"No need to apologize! Just shoot them!" said Private Hicks as he began returning fire.

"Right!" said Cortez, shooted both of the enemies in the head.

"Nice shot, Cortez!" said Private Hicks.

"Thanks," replied Cortez.

"Now let's move!" With that, they started along the path that lead to the base.

"Two more, up ahead!" shouted Private Hicks. The hooded men immediately began firing at them, one having the newest addition to the Plasma Autorifle series: the AE32-B Plasma Assault Rifle.

"Cortez, take out the rifleman, we'll handle the other one," Private Hicks ordered.

"I'm on it!" Cortez said. He then shot the one with the Plasma Autorifle with a shot to the head. The other one fell soon after as Sgt. Jameson shot him in the neck. The two hooded men defeated, they continued on.

A ways farther, four more of them attacked. "They just keep comin'!" shouted Private Hicks as he started returning fire.

"Cortez, these friends of yours?" asked Sgt. Jameson, shooting one of them in the shoulder. As the hooded man dropped to his knees, Sgt. Jameson put him out of his misery with a headshot.

"Nope," Cortez answered, "but they sure seem to know me though!" Cortez picked up the Plasma Autorifle, dropping his Scifi Handgun, and gunned the rest of the men down.

"Nice going, Cortez! Now let's get to the base!" said Private Hicks.

As they got farther along the path, they began to see the dead corpses of fallen military soldiers, men and women alike. "This is worse than I thought!" said Cortez.

"I'm with you on that one, Sarge!" Sgt. Jameson agreed.

"Cortez, boy am I glad to see you!" shouted one of the men further up the path when he saw Cortez. It was Private John. He was with Lt. Millers. They were taking cover behind a large rock formation. Just then, Lt. Millers grabbed his Scifi Handgun and ran out into the open, aiming at the two hooded men on the natural rock bridge above the path. However, as he went into the open, he was engulfed in plasma fire, falling to the ground with a thud. Blood quickly pooled around his body. "Those sons of bitches got Millers!" Private John scowled. "Cortez, take this sniper rifle and take out those guards!"

"You got it, John," said Cortez, setting down his Plasma Autorifle. He then picked up the newest member of the Scifi Sniper series – the ASM-34L Plasma Sniper Rifle – and peered around the corner. Seeing the two hooded men, Cortez took one of them out with a headshot. However, as the guard dropped from sight, another one took his place. They then began firing at Cortez. Cortez quickly took cover.

"There's just no end to these bastards!" shouted Private Hicks.

Suddenly, an idea struck Cortez. Taking aim, he shot one of the barrels behind the guards. Both of the barrels erupted in a fiery explosion. The guards fell to the ground below, dead. "Nice shooting, Cortez. Now let's move! The base is just a ways further!" Private Hicks said. Cortez dropped the sniper rifle and picked up his assault rifle, and they continued.

"Holy shit! TimeSplitter!!" shouted Sgt. Jameson after they had passed under the bridge-like rock formation. Just then, a large, brown monstrocity of a creature barreled headfirst down the rock wall. It was a TimeSplitter. It was very agile, and just a bit larger than an adult human. It quickly cloaked itself and began firing blue, lightning-like plasma bolts at the soldiers.

Just as the TimeSplitter was about to pounce on Cortez, he hit the creature with a spray of plasma blasts from his assault rifle. As it collapsed on the ground and reappeared, a pool of dark red blood forming around it, he kicked its corpse hard in the head. "Damn it all to Hell!" he bellowed as he kicked the TimeSplitter.

"Cortez, calm down!" said Private Hicks, placing a hand on Cortez's shoulder.

Cortez took a deep breath and said, "Ok, its just the fuckers all piss me off! I hate 'em!!!"

"I know. We all do! But we have got to keep moving!" Cortez simply nodded, and they continued on.

A little further on, they reached a clearing with a cliff at the rear. "Cortez!" one of the men there greeted. It was Private Bliz. Suddenly, his eyes went wide. "Look out!" he shouted, pointing behind Cortez and his squad. Two TimeSplitters had followed them. Private Bliz killed one of them with a shot to the head, and Cortez killed the other one with several shots through the throat. "Good goin', Cortez! Now, man that gun and help us defend the base until reinforcements arive!" he ordered, pointing to a 25mm Quad Barrel Plasma Cannon behind him. He was referring to his squad, which consisted of Lt. Lava, Private Kent, and Sgt. Smith.

"I'm on it!" Cortez jumped into the quad laser cannon. Just as he did, two TimeSplitters came down the high wall in front of him. He quickly gunned them down. Three more followed. Cortez began firing, as did the others. Then, two more came down. The other three were still very much alive and well.

"They're coming out of the walls! They're coming out of the goddamn walls!!" cried Private Kent. Seven hundred four plasma rounds and fifty-nine TimeSplitters later, reinforcements finally arived. Sgt. Smith, however, was dead.

"Cortez, hold your fire! I repeat, hold your fire!! Reinforcements have arived!" Private Bliz shouted. Three men in uniform then came running up to them. They were Private Grog, Lt. Forrest, and Commander Frost. Cortez jumped out of the turret. He noticed a crate near the turret with two lone SGT-32 Type A Plasma Grenades in it. He strapped them to his belt and followed the others toward the cliff.

Sgt. Jameson ran ahead to check out the cliff, Cortez and the others not far behind him. Just then, several TimeSplitters leapt over the cliff, one of them slicing through Sgt. Jameson. "Those cocksuckers got Jameson!" shouted Private Hicks. Private Hicks and the others immediately began firing as more TimeSplitters appeared. "Cortez, make a run for the base! We'll try to hold them off here. The general's waitin' for ya, Sarge!"Not saying a word, Cortez rushed toward the razor wire fence that had been set up to protect the base's entrance.

Three Splitters blocked his path. Gunning down the one in the center, Cortez then strapped his assault rifle to his back and unhooked the plasma grenades from his belt. He then pressed the big, red button on both of their tops, and they became engulfed in pink plasma. Cortez grinned as he heard the sizzling of melting steel, which signaled that the grenades were about to blow. He ran full speed at the remaining two Splitters and stuck the plasma grenades to their faces. He then leapt backward and ducked in cover. "Grenade! Grenade!" he called out. The other men backed away from the "floating" plasma grenades immediately. A few moments later, they detonated, leaving two headless TimeSplitter corpses in their wake.

Cortez immediately ran inside the now open door of the base, dropping his assault rifle beforehand and it closed behind him. He was greeted by General Lander. He was about as tall as Cortez was with grey hair in a buzzcut and light green eyes. He was wearing a similar outfat as Cortez was, except his armored vest had metal plating on it. "Cortez, welcome back," he said, shaking Cortez's hand. "Let's get those to the lab," They began walking further into the base. As they went, he went on to say, "It's gotten pretty damn ugly since you left," They stepped into a large, circular elevator, which closed and started making its way down.

"I hadn't noticed," said Cortez sarcastically.

"Don't get smart with me, Cortez!" the general barked. "We've lost a lot of men these past few months alone! The Splitters are mulitplying! We must stop them at all costs before Earth falls prey to those bloodthirsty monsters!"

"You can count on me, General!" said Cortez with a triumphant smile on his face.

Once elevator stopped and opened, Cortez and General Lander stepped out into a large laboratory. "Cortez, I'd like you to meet Anya, our chief scientist,"

"Hello there," Anya greeted. She was a little taller than Cortez with short, brown hair and blue eyes. She was _quite _attractive. This was apparent by the blush on Cortez's face. She wore a revealing, light blue lab coat and skin tight, silver pants. "Are those the Time Crystals?!" Cortez glanced at the general, making eye contact. He nodded. Cortez then unhooked the suitcase from his belt and opened it. Inside were nine large, bright green crystals. "Simply _beautiful_! Let's get these babies hooked up to the Time Warper, shall we?" she said, a sparkle in her eye. One of the other scientists then took the suitcase from Cortez and began hooking the crystals to the machine.

"Now, I'm gonna have to send my best man on this mission, and I'm sorry, but that's you, Cortez," said the general.

"So, find the crystals and destroy the lot. Heh, how hard could it be?" said Cortez with a grin.

"Cortez, this will allow us to communicate with you during your mission," said Anya, handing Cortez a small, black earbud. Cortez immediately secured the earbud to his ear. "It will allow you to hear everything around you, as well as us. It's quite the handy little gadget if I do say so myself!" she smiled. "Good luck!"

"Thanks," replied Cortez, returning the smile. He then stepped into the center of the Time Warper. The arms around it that held the Time Crystals began circling the center platform. Then, Cortez began to rise up directly in the middle of the arms. Not a moment later, he vanished without a trace.

To be continued…


	2. Scotland the Brave

Title: Future Perfect

Author: the ultimate SoBe Master

Chapter 2: Scotland the Brave

Email: TimeSplitters

Captain Ash was rowing his boat off the coast of Urnsay, a small island just off the coast of Scotland. He was humming "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". Captain Ash was a middle-aged British man wearing a brown war jacket and tan hunting pants. He was also wearing a pair of brown gloves. He had short, blonde hair and a blonde mustache.

Cortez suddenly appeared about a foot above the water. Ash's back was to him. He looked down. "Uh oh!" He muttered, falling into the ocean with a splash.

Captain Ash looked behind him. Suddenly, Cortez's hand grabbed hold of the side of the boat. "What the!" Captain Ash sputtered.

Cortez hoisted his head up above the water to face Ash. Ash just stared at Cortez as if he were an insane asylum escapee. "Would you mind lending me a hand!" Cortez spoke up after about a minute, slightly annoyed.

"Oh, uh, right…" Ash replied. Ash took Cortez's hand and hoisted him into the boat.

"Thanks...what's your name?" Cortez asked.

"Why, my name's Captain Ashton Murdock, or Captain Ash for short!" Captain Ash replied in a sort of excited sort of way. "But the real question here is: Who in God's name are you?"

"The name's Cortez!" Cortez answered.

"What are you doing way out here, old chap!" Ash asked, staring at Cortez.

"I am SUPPOSED to be on that island!" Cortez exclaimed, pointing toward the island.

"Why, are you sure old bean? That island's about to be blown to kingdom come!" Ash exclaimed.

"By who!"

"Why, by the navy of course!" Ash gestured out toward a large, old fashioned Air Craft Carrier. You could see bi planes taking off and landing. "But they won't bother us yet...there's someone I need to find on the island first." Ash stated, winking when he said 'someone'. Ash took a wooden smoking pipe out of his pocket and lit it. Suddenly, a pullet whizzed past Ash, knocking his pipe into the ocean. "What the! That was my finest pipe! Those bastards!" Ash exclaimed furiously.

Cortez then noticed some sort of pistol in the boat. "Get down, Ash!" Cortez exclaimed, taking the pistol-like weapon and aiming it at the sniper.

"No wait! Don't!" Cortez pleaded, but it was too late. Cortez fired it. It fired a flare at the sniper. It hit the sniper, and he fell head-first out of his look-out.

"Nice shot!" Ash muttered.

"I don't think much of this weapon!" Cortez stated, examining the Flare Gun.

"Well, you've let the cat out of the bag now, old chap!" Ash stated.

"W…Why!" Cortez asked, dumbfounded.

Suddenly, a missile hit the water behind the boat, and Cortez flew a foot in the air. He came back down with a thud. "That was the signal! Things are gonna get pretty rough from her on out!" Ash exclaimed, grinning.

"Uh…if you can get us to shore alive, I'll help you find your friend!" Cortez stated.

"Why, certainly, old boy! Onward to Urnsay!" Ash exclaimed excitedly. Ash started quickly rowing to shore, narrowly missing another missile.

When they had reached the shore, they got out of the boat and headed for an old, banged up, wooden dock nearby. Cortez looked up at the rest of Urnsay, the island they were on. There was a large, stone castle at the top of the mountain-like island. He then looked back at Ash.

"Let's just try and get to that castle up there alive! Take this weapon. It'll sure come in handy on our way there!" Ash stated excitedly, handing Cortez a Kruger 9MM and a silencer, which Cortez pocketed. "Well, let's get a move on, old chap! Forward ho!" Ash started up the path toward a stone arch. Beyond it were 2 armed guards wearing outfits similar to the ones that the men Cortez had run into back in his own time of 2401. They were under some sort of canvas tarp held up by 4 wooden poles. Behind them was a low, stone wall that led up the path to a huge, stone gate.

At the arch, Cortez and Ash took cover, making sure that the guards didn't see them. "Well, old boy, let's take out those guards over there!" Ash exclaimed.

"Right!" Cortez replied. Cortez took the silencer out of his pocket and attached it to his pistol. He took aim, and fired 2 shots, taking out the guards.

"Good shot, old boy! Let's move on, shall we!" Ash stated excitedly.

"Cortez…Cortez, can you hear me!" A voice asked in Cortez's ear. Cortez glanced over where the voice had come from, but there wasn't anybody there.

"Who said that!" Cortez asked, spinning around aimlessly. Ash looked at Cortez as if he were absolutely insane.

"What in the hell are you doing, old chap!" Ash asked, confused. Cortez ignored him.

"It's me, Anya!" Replied the voice, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Oh, Anya, so sorry! I didn't, uh, recognize your voice, yeah!" Cortez apologized.

"Riiiiiiiggggghhhhhttttt…now, you need to get to that castle on the hill there! Move it! We can't stand around wasting time! We have to find out what's going on on this island!" Anya replied, irritated.

"Oh, uh…right! I'm ready!" Cortez replied. He then took his silencer off of his pistol. The guards knew they were there. No need to sneak around anymore. A guard had already arrived. Cortez aimed and shot him in the head.

"Nice shot, old man!" Ash complemented, then muttering, "What strange uniforms…" Cortez grabbed the Vintage Rifle that was leaned against the low stone wall and secured it on his back. They then continued up the path.

As they progressed, they came to a high partial wall that extended up to a higher part of the path. "There they are! You, head over that way! I'll remain here!" A voice shouted out. It was 1 of the 2 guards at the top of the wall. They both had Vintage Rifles.

Cortez holstered his pistol and took the Vintage Rifle off his back. Captain Ash started firing at the guards with his pistol. After a few shots, 1 of the guards fell forward and dropped about twenty feet to the bottom of the wall, dead. "Nice going, Ash! I'll get the other 1!" Cortez complemented. He peered into the rifle's scope and sniped the other guard. They started their way once again up the path.

As they rounded a corner, a guard quickly took a mounted machine gun and started firing at them. "Damn, a machine gunist!" Ash stated. "Better get down!" Ash and Cortez ducked behind the wall just as a plane fired at the machine gunist. The guard was merely a bloody corpse now. "All clear, old chap! Moving on!" Ash exclaimed, and they continued onward.

As they drew near the gate, 2 guards started firing at them. One of them was atop 1 of the buildings lining the sides of the path. "Ash, you take the 1 on the ground! I got the 1 up top!" Cortez stated.

"No problem, old bean! I'm on it!" Ash replied, and he started shooting at the guard, quickly disposing of him.

Cortez peered into the scope of his Vintage Rifle, carefully aiming for the guard's head. "You're mine now, bitch!" Cortez muttered, firing a round through the guard's skull.

There weren't anymore guards the rest of the way up the path. They finally reached the gate. Cortez secured the Vintage Rifle back on his back. Then, he went up to the large, wooden double doors that led to the inside of the gate and pushed them open.

It turned out that the gate was thicker than they thought. It had an entire interior, and another set of double doors leading to the other side of the gate. "Well, we made it, old boy!" Ash exclaimed.

They headed farther inside. Suddenly, a large, wooden portcullis shut behind then in front of the entryway they just came from, and it turned out that another portcullis was blocking the exit. "Drat, trapped! We'll have to find a way to raise this portcullis, old boy!" Ash exclaimed sort of angrily, but you couldn't tell by the grin on his face.

"There they are! Get them!" 1 of the guards shouted, and a wave of pistol fire from 3 different guards started coming at them. Cortez and Ash headed into the main part of the gate. It was a fairly large room with an area around a held that held a small war ship, floating in a shallow pool. A railing went around the walkway, and a very short iron bridge went led to the other side. There was a crane hanging over the hole.

"Cortez, try and find the controls to the portcullis! I'll cover you!" Cortez exclaimed, and he shot the only guard on the side of the room they were on.

"Right! I'm on it!" Cortez replied. Cortez headed to the other side of the room. He saw a staircase at the other end. Two guards emerged from them. 1 had a Kruger 9MM, and the other had a K-SMG. They both started firing at Cortez.

Cortez, thinking quickly, dove behind a crate to avoid the K-SMG fire. He took this chance and reloaded his pistol. He peered around the crate and shot the guard with the K-SMG in the head, killing him instantly. He then stood up and shot the other guard in the balls. The guard dropped his pistol and gripped his groin, dropping to his knees. "What…did you…do that for…?" The guard stuttered in a high, squeaky voice. "Just for kicks, I guess…hahaha" Cortez replied, snickering. He then shot the moaning, ball-less guard in the head, killing him.

He then holstered his pistol and picked up the K-SMG. He checked the guard's pockets to find K-SMG clips, pocketing them. "This weapon isn't on record for this time period…" Anya stated. He then headed up the stairs, only to be greeted by 2 more guards, who had the same weapons as the last 2. He quickly mowed them down and collected their ammo. Suddenly, another guard came out from behind a crate and started firing his pistol at him. Cortez took out his pistol and shot the guard square in between the eyes. He then headed for the small room on this side of the main room.

When he entered, a guard started firing at him. Cortez shot him in the head with his pistol, splattering his brains all over the wall. He then headed over to the controls on the far side of the room.

"These must be the controls to open the portcullis! Turn the wheel and see!" Anya exclaimed.

"Right!" Cortez replied, turning the wheel. Suddenly, the portcullis that had been shut when they got there opened.

"You did it, my boy! Well done!" Ash exclaimed. "Now come on! We have a castle to get to!" Cortez started to make his way back down to Captain Ash. Suddenly, water start filling the gap that separated the 2 ends of the room. A small submarine came to the surface. On top of it was a twin gun turret. It started firing in all directions. "Could you deal with that!" Ash shouted up to Cortez.

"No problem!" Cortez replied. As Cortez got on the bridge, he noticed that the panel on the railing there had some sort of controls on it.

"These must be the controls for that crane there! Maybe you can try using it on the turret!" Anya stated.

"Sure, why not! It's just crazy enough to work!" Cortez replied, taking the controls. He moved the crane down over the turret and gripped it. He pulled the crane back up, revealing that 1 of the guards was working the turret. He was stuck in the turret. Cortez then moved the crane over the water and dropped the turret into it.

Cortez headed over to the newly opened exit. Captain Ash was awaiting him there. "Well, that was intriguing was it not!" Ash exclaimed.

"Yeah, it was!" Cortez agreed, pushing the double doors open. They headed out. Bi planes were flying overhead.

Up ahead was another dock. An old-fashioned army jeep came speeding down a hill farther along the path, when a plane shot at it and it sped off the dock into the ocean. "I say, the pigments of Wallawanga were tougher than this!" Ash stated. As they got to the dock, 2 guards from inside the shack on the part of the dock closest to the gate started firing there KSMGs at them. Cortez took them both out with his own K-SMG. Another guard stepped out from the room in the back and started firing. Ash took him out with a short to the head. Cortez took the clips from their KSMGs and pocketed them.

Captain Ash noticed another jeep near the shack. "Well, would you look at that! This could definitely come in handy!" Ash stated, getting in the driver's seat of the jeep. "Well, are you coming, old chap! Take the gun!" Ash stated, referring to the mounted turret in the back of the jeep.

"Yeah!" Cortez replied, jumping in the back of the jeep and taking hold of the handles on the back of the turret.

Ash took off, driving rather fast. "Ah, this is the life, the wind in your hair and a big weapon in your hand! Ahahahah!" Ash exclaimed.

"This doesn't look at all safe! Better be careful…the castle may provide some protection…" Anya stated, but Cortez ignored her. He started firing at anything that moved. You could tell he was having a good time by the look on his face.

As they neared a bridge, the bridge raised and a machine gunist started firing at them. "You there! I know you're over there! Raise this drawbridge or I'll give your ass a nice, deserved whooping!" Ash shouted, firing at the machine gunist. Cortez quickly disposed of the guard with his K-SMG.

"Cortez the uplink the general gave you for Christmas a few years back can move objects at a distance. You DO still have it with you, right?" Anya stated.

"Yeah! I'm wearing it!" Cortez replied. He pressed a button and a wire-like think came out and attached to his thumb, then another 1 to his index finger. He aimed it at a lever on the other side of the bridge. It automatically pulled forward, and the drawbridge lowered. "Alright!" Cortez exclaimed.

"I say, how did you do that!" Ash asked, dumbfounded. "Do you think that could be used for, oh I don't know, uh, opening bank vaults perhaps?" Cortez ignored him and took the wheel. Ash jumped into the back and took the gun, and they took off again.

As they got to the castle, Ash skidded to a stop and hopped out of the jeep. So did Cortez. Ash went over to some double doors and tried to push them open, but they wouldn't budge. "This door is locked up tight, old boy! Try and find some explosives to blast the door open!" Ash exclaimed.

"Right!" Cortez, and he quickly spotted some TNT wrapped together with a timer on it. He picked it up.

"Well, you've got the explosives…set it so this door wasn't here!" Ash stated.

"Something tells me he's done this before…" Anya stated.

"I think you're right…" Cortez replied quietly, setting the TNT and moving away from the door. There was a loud bang, and there was a big chunk of the doors missing. Ash and Cortez entered the castle.

"Well, old chap, we've done it! We've finally reached the castle!" Ash exclaimed.

"Yeah, let's just not screw up now and get ourselves killed!" Cortez replied.

"You said it, my boy! Carry on!" Ash retorted.

"Here they come! Kill them!" 1 of the guards shouted from atop the stairs, and 3 guards began firing at them. Ash aimed up and shot 1 of them in the head, and he fell, slipped under the railing, and fell to the ground floor, dead. They then started climbing the stairs.

"Let's get 'em, old chap! Charge!" Captain Ash exclaimed, and he started firing at the guards. There was a small room straight ahead. Another guard came out of it and started firing a K-SMG at them. Cortez mowed him down, reloaded his K-SMG, and mowed the rest of the guards down.

"Now, I need to set up a vantage point, old man…a sort of place to signal the troops…you go on ahead, I'll catch up…" Ash stated, and he was off.

"Well, at least we're rid of him for awhile…" Anya stated, pleased.

Cortez headed to another hallway. He started making his way through the catacomb-like hallways of the castle, killing guard after guard after guard. A little while later, he reached an empty room with double doors at the back. He tried pulling them open, but they were locked. "Huh, better find another way…" Cortez muttered.

"Psst, up here!" A voice said.

Cortez looked up to see some rusty bars. And looking past them he saw…himself! "Whoa, but, you're me!" Cortez exclaimed, startled.

"Heh, I knew you'd say that…now I'm supposed to give you this!" The Cortez above the bars stated, dropping something through them. Cortez caught it. It was an old key. Cortez looked back up at the other Cortez. "A key! But what's it…" Cortez began.

"You'll figure it out, just remember to pass it on when you're done…well, this is where I split! Catch ya later!" The other Cortez stated, standing up and moving out of sight.

"What in the hell just happened!" Cortez asked, dumbfounded.

"I don't know…better keep moving, Cortez…" Anya replied.

"Right…" Cortez stated. He moved to the double doors and tried the key in the lock. The doors then swung open.

"Well, what do ya know! That key was to the door!" Anya exclaimed. Cortez continued onward through the castle.

After what seemed like a hundred guards later, he finally reached a polished oak door. He could here talking on the other side of it.

Cortez crept inside. He was on a balcony overlooking another room. There were 3 guards in the room, all listening to an old man speak. Cortez crouched down in front of the railing to listen with the guards. He set down his K-SMG. "Our time has come! We must stand together to succeed! They have already penetrated the castle. If you see them, kill them!" The old man spoke.

"He must be their leader…" Anya stated.

"Up there, on the balcony! Get him!" The man shouted, and he rushed out the door in the back of the room. The 3 guards then started firing at him.

"Damnit!" Cortez stated. He then took out his Vintage Rifle and peered through the scope. 'They must be really stupid! Can't they see I have a sniper rifle out!' He thought. He then sniped the guards and headed down the stairs, not forgetting his K-SMG. Once he was down the stairs, he secured the Vintage Rifle on his back and headed through the door at the back. He was met by 2 more guards . He mowed them down with his K-SMG, then continued on.

He found himself in a wine cellar with a drunk guard. 'Better keep movin', who knows what he'll do!' Cortez thought. He noticed an old-fashioned elevator at the back of the cellar. He went into it. "Up!" Cortez commanded the elevator, even though it was an inanimate object.

"Hello down there! Need a lift!" Ash's voice called out. He was on a higher level, peering down at Cortez.

"Yeah, could ya!" Cortez replied. The elevator suddenly, very slowly started going up. Ash started blabbing on about who know what, so Cortez tooned him out until he got to the top. The elevator finally stopped. "Thanks…" Cortez stated.

"…No problem, old man!" Ash replied. "Now, I must be off. There's someone I need to rescue!" And with that, he set off again.

"Glad he's gone…" Anya stated.

"You said it, Anya!" Cortez agreed.

What seemed like a thousand guards later, Cortez came to another balcony, this 1 looking out onto a dry courtyard with large, iron doors on 1 side of it. Suddenly, a bi plane crashed near the iron door and exploded, causing the blue barrels that lined the columns on the far end of the courtyard. "Holy crap!" Cortez shouted, startled by the sudden explosion.

He quickly moved on to the next room. He was in a hallway. At the end was yet another guard. "This is starting to get a little bit old!" Cortez muttered. He pulled out his pistol and shot the guard in the head. He then headed into the first of 2 side rooms. There was a small, missile-type projectile on the table. Thinking it might come in handy, he pocketed it. He then moved on.

He found himself in yet another hallway. This 1, however, was guard-free. Suddenly, some sort of portal opened up in front of him. "Whoa, what is that!" Cortez asked himself.

"It's a time portal! All the time travel in the area must have destabilized the space-time continuum!" Anya answered.

Cortez then noticed himself through some bars in the floor through the portal. "Hey, isn't that where I was when he gave me that…key!" Cortez stated, moving towards the portal.

"Cortez, wait!" Anya shouted, but it was too late. Cortez had already gone through.

"Psst, up here!" Cortez called down through the bars, sitting down to peer through them.

His past self looked up, suddenly startled. "Whoa, but, you're me!" He stated.

"Heh, I knew you'd say that…now, I'm supposed to give you this!" Cortez replied, dropping the key through the bars.

His past self caught it. "A key! But what's it…" The past Cortez began.

"You'll figure it out, just remember to pass it on when you're done…well, this is where I split! Catch ya later!" Cortez exclaimed, standing up. "That was cool…"

"Cortez! You can't just up and go through a time portal! It's dangerous!" Anya scolded.

"What, why!" Cortez replied, slightly annoyed.

"If you interact with your past self, you can create a time paradox!" Anya replied.

"Don't worry, I'll be careful!" Cortez assured, continuing on.

He soon heard Ash's voice. "Don't you worry, my sweet…I'll be back with help…" It said. Cortez followed his voice into a small room with a jail cell in it. The bars were rusted over. "Ah, there you are! I found my, uh, assistant, but I can't get her out! Can you help me!"

"Yeah, no problem!" Cortez stated. He then remembered that he had pocketed the Flare Gun. He ran to the next side room, seeing another jail cell, this 1 walled off from the other 1, with only a small opening to see into the other cell.

Cortez pulled out his pistol and shot several holes in a barrel that was next to the wall in the cell, causing a large of pool of oil to spill out all over the floor. He then took out the Flare Gun, holstering the pistol, and firing a flare at the oil, causing the oil to catch fire, and the barrel explode, forming a large hole in the wall, and causing the jail cell door to swing open.

The young blonde in nothing but a bikini that was in the cell leapt out and into the room that Cortez was in. She looked slightly confused.

"Thank you so much for freeing my assistant, old chap!" Ash exclaimed. Then he turned to his "assistant". "Are you all right, my sweat? Did they harm you at all!" Ash asked sweetly. She whispered something in his ear. "They made you do what!" She whispered something else in his ear. "…Like a MONKEY! Those sons of bitches!" Ash cried. "Well, we better be going. You go do…whatever it is you are supposed to be doing! Cherry o!"

Cortez then headed down the hallway, coming to some stairs. He headed down them. They led to a door. Cortez lightened his load by leaving the Vintage Rifle and the Flare Gun by the door. He then went through the door.

It led to the courtyard that he had seen from that balcony earlier. Suddenly, the iron door separate from the middle. Once it had open, a tank came out into the courtyard. "Oh shit!" Cortez shouted. It suddenly started firing machine gun fire at him. He then remembered the projectile. It appeared to be able to connect to some sort of weapon. Cortez took it out and examined.

"That rocket-propelled grenade in an accessory for the K-SMG! You can use that against the tank!" Anya stated.

"Oh, sweet!" Cortez shouted, slipping the grenade onto the front of the SMG's barrel. He aimed it at the tank and pulled the trigger. The grenade ignited and flew at the tank, exploding on contact.

"Great! The tank's stalled. If you can get some TNT, you can set it on the back of the tank, and it should destroy the tank. But be careful, you only have a short time before the tank is active again!" Anya stated.

"You got it!" Cortez replied. He then spotted some TNT just lying in the corner of the courtyard. He ran and grabbed it. He was heading for the back, when the tank sprang to life again. The cannon swung around to face him. "Oh hell no!" Cortez shouted.

"Look out!" A voice shouted. It was Captain Ash. He dove and brought Cortez to the ground just in time for a grenade to fly over their heads.

"That was close…where the hell did you come!" I saw you facing that tank from the balcony up there, and I just knew this would happen!" Ash replied. "So I leapt over the edge, and here I am!"

"But what about your assistant!" Cortez asked.

"Don't worry about her…I told her to stay put until I got back!" Ash replied. "She always listens to me!"

"Ok, well, just go back to her, I can handle this!" Cortez stated.

"Well, ok…good luck then…here, take this…I found it before I saved you…" Ash stated, handing Cortez a K-SMG grenade; and with that, he was off.

Cortez stood up again, sliding the grenade onto the barrel. "Time for this tank to meet hell!" He cried, firing the grenade. The tank was stalling again. Cortez headed around to the back of the tank and set the TNT. A few seconds later, the top of the tank blew off, and black smoke was coming from the tank.

"You did it! Nice job with the tank!" Anya congratulated. Cortez made his way to where the tank had come out of. It was a large, cylindrical elevator that went down into the island. The elevator suddenly began to go down.

When it stopped and the door opened, he walked out into some sort of secret base in the island. "What is this?" Anya asked herself. Cortez dropped his K-SMG, emptied his pockets of all his weapons for who knows what reason, and ran across the walkway to another door that went up automatically. Cortez stumbled inside. The old man was inside.

"I though I told you not to interrupt…" He started. "…Me!" He suddenly realized that Cortez was in the room, and he grabbed a device off the table, pushed a red button, and disappeared.

"Damnit! He got away!" Cortez yelled. "Anya, did you see that!"

"Yes, but what's a human doing with a time device!" Anya asked.

"I don't know, but if we found him, we find the Time Crystals!" Cortez exclaimed.

"But we have no clue as to where he jumped to!" Anya stated.

"Would this be of help!" Cortez asked, holding up an old photo of the old man and some other guy.

"Hmmmm…Well, if I ran a scan of the photo, I could upload it onto the base's topographical database. Then, if I can triangulate the surrounding landscape with the size of the buildings, I might be able to come up with an exact location and…" Anya stated.

"How about Trans Slav Train Depot, September 4, 1969?" Cortez asked.

"What!" Anya asked, confused.

"It's on the back of the photo…" Cortez replied.

"Oh…well…that's good enough for me…I'll set the time machine. You ready, Cortez!" Any stuttered.

"Oh yeah! It's time to split!" Cortez shouted, doing a dramatic pose.

"Yeah, whatever…" Anya stated. Cortez's face went from an excited 1 to a confused 1 as he disappeared.

A/N: Well, I finally finished chapter 2! YAY! Well, hope you enjoy!


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